Living Like Larry

ahh I miss having all my friends in LA!!

the sky has been looking soo pretty!! 

I visited Temecula and Carlsbad for Thanksgiving!

I saw a cute train crossing too!! apparently it goes to the train station in china town in LA! I'm deefiinitelyy gonna take it someday 

Can't wait to visit Cali again!! Hopefully next time, we can visit LA or San Francisco 

Nice Day

Today is really really pretty!! I feel like for the entire day, every time I look into the sky I see new painting!! It's just really gorgeous. The mountains this morning were just the most beautiful thing ever, but I was late to catching the bus so I didn't get a picture.

I've been to Ito Kashitaro again today and it's so nice!! His music hasn't lost it's magic~*

I went to the gym on Tuesday! It was pretty fun, and now my arms really hurt. I was gonna go again today, but my friend bailed out on me. 

Anyways, here's some pictures of the sky from a little while ago

soo pretty right?? aha I don't even know who reads these anymore

Myers Briggs Test & Vlogging

so i took the Myers Briggs Personality test!! I got ISTP. Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving.  Introversion isn't be something to be proud of, but the others are kinda neat. Here's the description of ISTP: 

Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems. Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency.

I think it's pretty accurate!! 

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I've been wanting to make vlogs ever since I started watching NigaHiga in 6/7th grade. The thing that stops me is that I'm pretty bad with words? or idk just I don't think I'd give very entertaining commentary. Still, I think it'd be a lot of fun to have a small following and just to interact with them. 

it doesnt really have to be a vlog, just funny videos. maybe if i got off my lazyass and hung out with more of my friends then I'd have some funny stories. 

music update!!

I'm thinking maybe once a month or maybe every couple of months I could do one of these things where I post some music I like! They're not necessarily new or anything, but I enjoyed them at the time I posted them ^^

Staffing Workshop

So for those of you who don't know, I was raised in a korean church. I feel like I've always had pretty high expectations to meet, but I've never really known how to go about becoming a sociable, smart, and active young adult. My older brother kind of gave up on fitting in with them, but I really want to be able to hang out with the other kids raised in the church.

 I signed up to be a staff at a church camp on a whim, and seriously regretted it as I headed to LA for the pre-staff workshop. When I got there I kind of wanted to cry. I knew a majority of the people, but after I'd moved away I'd changed a lot and I felt like I couldn't relate to them anymore. Everyone was already friends, and I felt really left out and hurt. 

I cried a little at night and texted my best friend for some comfort. Shout out to Merika for being an amazing, bright friend who can always make me smile. she knows me too well!! as lame as it is, she actually told me to think of Goku whenever I felt down. He's always been the perfect role model to me while growing up, so it meant a lot to me. When I found myself quietly sitting in a group of girls who were talking about people I didn't know, I tried to be sociable and laugh whenever possible. It probably came out as really forced, but I tried. 

I noticed a lot how our church talks about self worth a lot. I actually really like myself, so it never really meant much to me. I was always just afraid of opening up and being rejected again. It happened when I was younger so I really didn't want it to happen with  people I respected a lot. 

One time when we were singing a holy song, the words hit me like a truck. "I can never stop feeling how unworthy am I". again it was the whole 'unworthy' thing, but this time i took it in a different light. I've sung this song my whole life, but I never really thought of it like that. The reason I felt so out of place among the other kids in my church was because I've always felt unworthy of their attention and love. I don't know why but I think I really really have a deep love for all of the kids in my church. I can't really explain my feeling very well since I'm super bad with words, but I guess it's kind of like I've always looked up to them that I  almost never really considered myself to be one of them. 

I held it in for the rest of the day and muted my emotions until night time, when we had a 21 minute prayer. I took this as my chance to cry my fucking eyes out. I don't think I have ever cried so much in one sitting. I just thanked God so much for letting me be a part of the movement and letting me be connected again with my family. I missed everyone a lot and it felt amazing to be with them again, even if I didn't talk much. 

When we all met up again after the prayer, I strongly resembled a drunk elderly lady who needed to sit down. My nose was red and I had bags under my eyes. I was a mess, but I felt great. I am sooooo grateful I got to attend that leadership camp and grow closer to my church family. They'll probably never read this, but I hope that through those couple of weeks I got to spend with them that maybe they were able to feel some of my love. 

furries and music

i saw a post on tumblr making fun of a furry convention. i found the video on youtube and i couldn't stop watching. i am actually truly curious how these people live with such indignity and mortification. i couldnt stop watching furry convention videos. my hands feel so dirty. 

in other news, i've started biking again. i used to bike everywhere in LA so its really a natural feeling. i found this hill thing next to a sewage management place, which is kinda gross, but the hill has some pretty nice views. 

ok so this is gonna sound kinda strange, but the sky in these pictures really remind me of something? It's kinda been bothering me for a while. i get this feeling from random places or atmospheres where it's kinda like nostalgia, but in somewhere ive never been? and idk its not really nostalgia but its just really nice. its not just a tranquil feeling, but i really have no way to explain it. really i don't think words are quite capable to describe it, which is nice in its own way. it kinda feels like my own little thing, which is very comforting, cause if it doesnt exist it cant really be taken away either. 

I think music is an amazing way to describe feelings and to create an atmosphere. thats part of why i really like foreign music, since you dont really focus so much on the words. i re-found this awesome singer, Ito Kashitaro. He has a really pleasant voice. If I were a princess I'd want him to perform for me a lot. music is also a great way to get to know someone. it cant really just be one song either, cause then you wont know if they take the song differently than you. I'll make a post about some songs i like later, cause i think its kinda important for a personal blog. 

peace out girl scout

おっぱい

i am trash